Behind the Writing - 2 PCB + Bushwalla = Homegrown

I had originally wrote a song titled Homegrown that payed tribute to my hometown, knowing the commercial appeal would be limited.  When I approached the group on what the title of our album would be they said "Homegrown" and the reason we decided on that name is because it represents everything we are about right now as a group. We grow tomatoes and all types of greens at our studio, the vibe we put out is raw and "organic," our PCB "Tree-shirts" that we sell at our shows are 100% organic and everything we do, we do from the heart and we try to not add too much hype or fillers.
 Let me clear up what organic means to us:  

or·gan·ic

  (awr-gan-ik) adjective
Pertaining to the shapes or forms in a work of art that are of irregular contour and seem to resemble or suggest forms found in nature.

So when it came to recording our first full length album, we stripped down to the basics; good tone, good vibes and good people in the musical sessions. We then had to find the right environment, the right  equipment and right person to control the situation... so "naturally" we turned to our good friend Billy Galewood aka Bushwalla .  It was literally the night before that I approached the group and said "we should record a full length" they asked "when were you thinking...in a month or two?"  I replied "tomorrow!!" They hesitated at first but being the super trusting group of friends that they are they said "...sure lets do it!!" I called Billy and boom, he opened his studio doors and helped produce/engineer an album that would express that raw, organic vibe we needed. 

When we first talked of recording Homegrown, two questions popped up; what if this gets picked up outside of San Diego and would we have to edit the city for every city we play in? These were great questions and I had no answers. I turned to my home skillet Billy-Bush and he interjected "Paul I have been all around the world and one thing I have seen is that people love SD. Being from SD is something to be proud of, so show your love and do your thing." So I just left it at that and let the universe find a path for it... 

Turns out A few months later we were invited to play a show with the Wallflowers, Tristan Prettyman and Walk the Moon for the KPRI & Anthology's Street Beat Concert. I was doing a live radio interview with the owner of KPRI about the song and he expressed great interest in the song. We played our set and after he came up and said "What a great song Paul, how would you feel if we based a TV commercial around it?" I answered "sounds like a deal." They were starting a local campaign where they would design a TV commercial that would have local San Diegans singing along to our song. So they did and  I was super flattered to have my home town showing so much love and so...here it is.
                                 
Whether it's standing in La Jolla Cove starring at Dr. Seuss's house, praying in a sweat lodge on my reservation, skating through the Gas lamp District at night or dropping in on a perfect wave on a perfect day to see three spotted dolphins right underneath me, I always stop to thank God for a land that my people have called home for thousands of years. We have so many blessings in our lives but in this song I picked just one "San Dieeeeego!"  

Thank you for all the love and support!

Behind the Writing 1

  In this series of blogs I will talk about; what inspired the music, how the music is written, challenges we face as artists, how we recorded the music and all the fun we had along the way :)
   
   As an artist It's so easy to get lost in this over saturated "pop-fest" it's easy to compare and to be compared to the likes of others and feel that's all you are. Don't get me wrong I understand the business side of things and I understand it enough to know that I should not be defined by the strides of others. This is a beautiful world where we have the luxury to define our own path and even though our own path may take longer then the pre-beaten one it is more fulfilling in the long run. These songs on the new album are an expression of that thought pattern, they are an expression of staying true to my own path with respecting but excepting minimal input from the music industry. I have learned to  accept a certain level of criticism from fans, artists, teachers, producers and even my own people. The hardest part is finding the dividing line between others advice and what you believe to be true.  I  have to balance out what other peoples  understandings of my path are  and of what my own understandings of my path are. It seems effortless to get trapped in the "statistics" of others but like Jay-Z says "People will tell you how to do it even though they have never done it."

   This is how I view life: It's like being caught in a rip current and your paddling your ass off for no reason but if you slow down, do steady strokes and strategize your exit you'll eventually get to where you need to be!   So here's to breathing and believing we are right where we need to be! Here's to all the support from those that believe in this whisper of a dream. Thank you and please keep checking back for more stories on behind the writing of our full length album - Homegrown.

Much Love!
Paul

I fell In love with a girl named Lacey :)

I was like most 20 yr. olds, immature. I had no money, no car, no goals but was good at partying. I Had just moved down to the Gas lamp district to take over an apartment my brother had been living in. I was working at Hooters, as a cook, and at T.G.I.Fridays as a busser. I remember it like yesterday me and my main man William Smith were sitting in the restaurant filling out an application. I looked up for a minute to see this very attractive bleached blonde girl walk past. She had extremely large and sexy ...... glasses, a light linen toned Roxy purse that said "I Love Boys" and tight black spandex pants ;) I was intrigued.

I continued spending most of my days skating through down town, burning my fingers on buffalo wing grease and playing the corners for pocket change. The first day at TGIF sucked, I had coleslaw and dishwasher duty. I spent the first week dreading my job hoping for some abrupt change of pace to override these feelings of mediocrity. Then she walked in. That one girl I saw a few weeks ago was leaning over the cooks counter to place an order. She cracked a joke, smiled and made eye contact. I must admit I felt that she was way out of my league. She had every guy in that place wrapped around her finger. Then here I am... the only thing I owned was a skateboard I stole from my freind. I had a shaved head, plugs, I was timid and was way to easy to pass by. Later down the road my wife would say she wasn't even that attracted to me at first. I wasnt her type...hmmm ok, lol. She had it all man, she was gorgeous, funny, she had tattoos!!, big boobs, nice butt and she was so approachable. Everything that matters to a man. By walking over and saying "hey" she made every part of my body tingle, it was like a fire started in my bones and my heart trying to put it out by beating faster. It was hard to be confident wearing those cattle poop scooping gloves and being elbow deep in coleslaw but I managed to make basic conversation. We chatted a bit, she asked "where ya from" and I responded "from an indian reservation up north, u?" "I'm from washington state but I was living in orange county. I just moved down here because of the MTV show Real World San Diego!" I then answered "awesome...".

This was going to be a hard catch for me, she had her pick of any guy in there and I didn't have much to offer. So I started to strategize first i have to get to know her. I started hanging out with the guys she was friends with. She was a waitress and I was a busser so I figured that I could start to bus only her tables to make small talk....brand recognition. Some call this stalking but I call it persistence. Once we got to a comfortable acquaintance level. I made my move. I approached her " Hey Lacey can I ask a favor, do you have a minute?" " not right now I am taking a phone order, give me one sec..." She said " no stress" I replied. The thing was I didn't have a good question to ask, so if she gave me her undivided attention I would have to make it good. So I panicked and went with plan b... I wrote my number on a piece of paper and with one hand I held it up to her. I made eye contact and a mouthed the words "call me". She could have just ignored that paper but I was hoping I had charmed her enough to get her curiosity sparked. After all I had spent that whole day dropping bits of info about me like how I was awesome, I knew stuff and I had cool friends. There is a total art to selling yourself and I nailed it!

And wouldn't you know she called that night. I still remember the voicemail "Hey Paul this is Lacey from work, sorry I couldn't talk earlier. I tried finding you but you took off. You said you had a favor to ask so I figured it had to be about sex, drugs or rock and roll...just kidding!! give me a call back" When I called back I came clean and said it was my brilliant attempt to hang out with her. She said she was at her aunt's with her cat and she had to stay in that night. I said "if it makes it easier just bring your cat with you and she can stay in my place?" From that night we never left each others side. She moved in shortly after, I quit Hooters and A few months later we tattooed each others names on our ring fingers. We have been together for 8 yrs and will be married for 7 in March. We have a 4 yr old child and I am so glad she decided to see the potential in me. Stay tuned for her version of the story!! lol.

HOW ART HEALS

I remember my first encounter with art, It was 1989 and I was in Kindergarten. My mom had set me up with construction paper, macaroni, acorns and glue. I was stoked!! My second significant encounter was years later. I actually got stoked on art based off of my oldest brother Mel. I watched as he drew cartoon ants with helmets on their heads..."Army Ants" which also plagued our property. From this point I was obsessed with drawling skulls and boobies (.)(.)

There were never any musical instruments in my house growing up or any other type of artistic options for that matter. When I started painting ostrich eggs with native American themes my mom was like " Oh...thats nice" and when I started making rough recordings my mom said "Oh...thats nice" Even as an adult when I'm like "I got on American Idol!!!" she says" Oh...thats nice" or "I got the call back from a Bravo reality show and I'm top 3 songwriters and they are going to start filming me in Holly Wood!!!" she says " cool..." I have accepted peoples response to my lifestyle choices and I guess you can't expect people to have the same vision as you. Like how people respond when my wife tells them "my husbands a musician" :/ Oh well! :) Speaking of lifestyle choices...The other night my father asked me if I was happy to get my Tattoos at such a young age (I was fifteen when I got my last name tatted across my back) I said "I knew there was only one path for me and I accepted that at a young age." Also getting tattoos back then on your wrists was social and career suicide.

In elementary school I was always that cool kid that wore cartoon graphics on my t-shirts and (I mean the ones that take up the whole shirt) "hand me down" men's XL fluorescent green parachute pants.

Like most of us I felt out of place, insecure and timid as a teenager. I was always fighting with my parents/ kids at school. I was always in trouble: getting kicked out of school and in 'n' out of court. I was trying to be cool any way I could and that meant doing whatever it took to prove myself. See the problem was I wanted to be cool so bad. Once I realized that certain people weren't worth impressing then I changed route. I used art to make my own path, I started using art to vent, to express my abstract thoughts and to attract a different breed of friends.

In middle school I was well know for my sketches ... this lasted all the

way to high school. I even used my sketches for trade!! drugs, school supplies, favors and even kisses and hugs from the popular girls ;) I was a typical boy. At one point a girl that I was in love with told her dad of my art and he asked me to illustrate a book for him which was published and can still be purchased in Barnes and Nobel

http://www.quickchills.com/bh_bt_ai.htm.

Art was my voice... it has opened so many doors in my life now that I couldn't have even imagined.

To me everything has the ability to be art. Anything can be taken from its original state to be made to sooth your soul and those souls around you. I would be lost without the impressions from people that gave their time and vision without any strings attached. In return, for all that have had an influence in young peoples lives, I have dedicated my journey to giving in that same light. It's like building a fire on the coast so others can stay warm and see through the darkness. This isn't about radio play or unit sales this is about opening a young persons mind to a world of hope and possibilities.

I went from taking risks as a youth, to impress friends, to taking financial and business risks to make my own

path. You could ask me to " jump off this,

make this or paddle out into that!" and I would say "Sure!" Now the tone of questions have changed but the vibe remains. You can ask me "help with this, volunteer for that, make this happen." and I would say " Sure!" Getting older allows me to reflect and appreciate having "balls" as a child. Now when they say " you'll never make it...the odds are slim" I say " I'm not afraid of failing, I know my limits but I'm also not afraid of working hard to get what I want. Most importantly I believe in my dreams"

-Paul

"If you asked people what they want, they would of said faster horses." - Henry Ford

I Love Trees!

There is something about tress that I fell in love with as a young child. You could climb them, build shelter from them, jump on or swing from them and of course pick fruit from them. They provide shade when it's hot and oxygen for all the earth. Have you ever walked through a redwood forest? wow, what a peaceful trip. When I was in middle school we had an avocado grove in our agriculture class where we would sneak off to smoke weed (out of the avocados) and then throw them at each other...good times :) I used to stand-stare and be dazzled by the sunlight streaming through these richly colored green leaves. For some reason I always took comfort in the fact that no matter what happens in life these tree would still be here. Even after being attacked by fire they would still stand their ground with what little they had left. I believe we are what we eat and I would like to be healthy, oily, green and rich.

Trees are living. They might not have a brain or be as complex as us but they are living. They have unique fingerprints, like us, they have fluid that is vital to their existence, like our blood, they breath and need sunlight, like us, and when they get wounded they heal them selves by regrowing in different directions. The healing powers of plants, shrubs and trees are endless. The fruit that comes form trees are no accident to the human body. In fact an orange contains a fiber, in the pulp, that when it's digested (by a human) it can regulate the amount of sugar that the body accepts. Meaning when you go to the grocery store and buy " Orange Juice" make sure it has pulp in it otherwise your getting way to much sugar that just turns to fat. The omega oil's and fatty acids that are in avocados help the brain to function properly. They are as important to the brain as oil is to an engine of a car. They have proven that by eating all greens you can cure cancer and all other types of life threatening illness, some studies show that you wouldn't even have to brush your teeth as much if at all. Only when "man made" sugar and chemicals came on the scene did we have to start aggressively pursuing our dental hygiene. Point being that fruits, nuts and vegetables have everything you need to thrive and be healthy.

Look into it, once you find a bit of the truth you will start craving the realness that is nature. This is what we are and what we need... with nature any thing that is plaguing you can be healed, not just suppressed by western medicine. If the tree can't heal you then go to the ocean. One Love!

Paully-wog, Pablo, Paulito...

From looking at me you wouldn't think that I have such an ethnic background or such an ethnic looking family, but I do. What is funny is that all through my brothers school career they were respected as Native Americans, all through my school career I was respected as white... what ever that is. I don't even know what the rest of my bloodline is because I only had one grandparent growing up and she barely spoke english. The bummer is that most of my folks past was very unpleasant so getting any info out of them is like pulling teeth at the indian health clinic.

At age 14 I had my first hit of Crystal meth at 16 I dropped out of school and started working full time with my father, at 18 I was your run of the mill alcoholic and drug addict thief. When I looked forward all I could see was grey when I closed my eyes all I could see was Chaos. I had already began my relentless journey into no where.

With my father's family being from Georgia, but all passed away, and my mother being Native American and living in the same area as her family... I had been exposed to more of the Native American/ Hispanic traditions and addictions rather then being exposed to traditions of Georgia (and what ever my fathers back round is). My mother had lost her sister to a car accident, her father to cirrhosis of the liver, her brother to bad drug deal and her older sister to lupus. When my mother and father first met they realized that there was one big thing in common, they both had been running for a long time.

My grandma Lupe was the sweetest old lady who had the strongest accent and the best cooking. She passed a few years ago to blood cancer...F-cancer. She would call me paully-wog for what ever reason while my uncles would call me Pablo. Most of my cousins would call me Paulito meaning little stick of the tribe and from that my buddys called my Lito which until this day is how I signature most of my canvas art work...oh and it is how my wife calls me to fix stuff. My Uncle Johnny was a huge influence in my life and showed me how deep the river ran from our blood line and how it was filled with art, music and dancing. He would speak of the practices he would participate in and this really allowed me to take pride in my past. As a young man I was taught to fish, hunt and how to skin animals for the use of their hide. I remember once I was on a job in Fallbrook, Ca. and I had a hispanic man working for me who didn't speak english. He was jumping around and waving his hand toward the floor. When I walked over I noticed a snake by his feet. He was frightened so I stepped on the snakes head, grabbed my razor blade and cut it off. I pinned the body to a 2x4 and gutted the snake spreading the skin and removing the spine, then I took a package of salt from lunch and spread it over the skin. Once dry I wrapped it around a piece of hide and made a belt that went around a cowboy hat.

Growing up my father had a short temper, I remember getting in trouble at school and my dad taking bamboo, extension chords, or fig branches and whipping my ass. I was always doing something wrong at school or foolish things like the time I blew my older brother up on accident. I threw a spray paint can in the fire and my bro tried to get it out but was to late. They had to skin graph his face...maybe that's why he's a deuche to me. Just kidding...I'm good with my brothers.

When I was 10 years old I went on vacation with my little brother and father. At the time I didn't realize my dad was meeting his mistress at the same place we were going. My little brother actually told my mom about the girl (he was like 7) and until this day (he's like 24?) he doesn't speak to my dad. This would begin the ending of an 18 year marriage to my mother. See my dad had lost both of his parents at the age of 14, Father to colon cancer, his sister died of AIDs, brother died form heroin and only other brother is a junkie in georgia somewhere. He had lived most of his life running away and this was no exception.

After years of running (myself), I finally have come to a place where I felt I had the strength to let go and make peace with my past. I wrote a song about these experiences called "Man On Fire" which talks about my struggle with addictions. On my guitar strap I have put the letters SPR to show that I have made peace and that I have much love for my reservation.

From the good vibes put into my life from others I was able to reach a point of peace and self confidence. I am a long way from where I once was and I have plenty of family and friends to thank for that. From a young age my Aunt Angie investing her positive perspective into my life. From her and my uncle Tom I was exposed to the "Surfer" lifestyle. I remember being given old surf magazines and being told old surf war stories that sparked interest in this whole other "natural" world. There was something about the ocean... I recall arriving at the shore and just feeling peace.... For once in my life when negative emotion came in I could feel it leave with the ever changing salt water and sea weed.

Everyone knows they need healing but people are afraid to admit that they were powerless and that they couldn't help from being hurt. Some think that making peace shows weakness but in fact it shows great strength. It is hard to forgive and control your mind but by doing this It brings the ability to free your mind and free up your life. It is much easier to hate then it is to love it is much easier to be angry then it is to let go.

I know there is healing in the ocean and that there is healing in this earth and for me living in the mountains was what I needed healing from. Now it is my turn to be a positive influence for the broken.

We are of One Love.

-Lito

How I became owner of Bunny Wailer's guitar...from Bob Marley& the Wailers!

First of all Bunny Wailer is a legend and was an original member of "The Wailers" with Bob Marley& Peter Tosh. Did you know that they use to sit outside the radio station, in Kingston, to wait for the DJ to come outside so they could beat the shat out of him. They did this in order to get him to play there music on the radio. I wish it was that easy these days.

2005 I was living in Santa Cruz, Ca. playing the local scene with my Beach Rock band "Don't Bother to Knock". Aside from being a huge reggae fan and opening for beach rock bands like Ribsys Nickel who were on tour with Slightly Stoopid and signed to Stoopid Records, we were regulars to the local clubs putting out the vibe!

At the time I had a friend that worked at a hotel down by the skate park and on the night Bunny Wailer came to town to play the Catalyst, he ended up staying at my friends hotel! The next morning she came to my place to tell me that she had went into Bunny wailers room after he left and found an acoustic guitar lying on the floor. It had been thrown against the wall and the neck was snapped, but it was all mine... I was stoked! It's just one of those things you hold on to, like the hat I was given while being an extra on the movie Sea Biscuit.

Have you ever touched an angel? I have.

When I was around 16 i was involved in a car accident that took a truck off a cliff on Paradise mountain. That was the night I realized I was not walking through life alone.
I was eager to drive before I was leagally able to and i was ready to be an independent human. I wanted to drink , smoke and act like all the adults I knew. I was obsessed with being someone else.

One night i decided to borrow a car from some one I knew and drive to V.C. to pick up a Friend. We drove around drinking rum and doing whatever reckless teens do at 3am. I remember it like it was yesterday it was raining hard and the roads were really wet. I asked my Friend to drive cause I felt more intoxicated then him. We were coming down a narrow and dark road on Paradise mountain at about 60mph when i felt he was taking the turn way to fast. I clenched my hand to the arm rest and asked him to "slow down". We caught our breath for a brief second and then noticed a caution sign that said "20mph" on the corner. Naturally my Friend saw that he would go over the edge if he didn't turn towards the hillside and quick! He corrected one turn to only over correct on another turn. Now he tried to not hit the hillside dead on but in doing that he lost control and we went over the edge.

Imagine being in a rioting crowd of 20,000 people that have baseball bats and they all want to kill you. You close your eyes and listen to your only source of protection being ripped, shattered and pulled apart by force. But in this case it happens in a matter of seconds. When i closed my eyes something strange happened, I saw we were going over the edge and a calmness suddenly fell on me. I closed my eyes and then I felt something fall into my lap. I didn't open my eyes to see what it was but it felt like a human body and not a piece of the truck. I thought to myself that if it was my friend that fell into my arms I was not going to let go of him. I used every ounce of strength to prevent him from flying out the windshield.

After what felt like hours of gravity, we finally landed on a huge rock right side up. The whole truck was in shambles but the two front seats were as good as new. My Friends hand was pinched between the roof and steering wheel and we both sat speechless. I looked over and saw that my Friend was in his seat belt and i asked "did you fall out of your seat belt?" he replied "no." I got out of the passenger seat and crawled to the top of the mountain with not even a scratch on me. I started singing some song that was stuck in my head as I walked down the road. I felt like i just cheated death and I knew why...

..The person that fell in my lap was the one that has been by my side my whole life. From that day a lot has happened but I will always remember when God decided to show me I was not walking through life alone. Till this day I carry a Native American medicine bag with me that contains broken pieces of glass from that night. It is a reminder that I have only one reason to be here, do you have one? one love.

How i did in the American Idol Auditions in 2007

First my brother and i had to stand in line at Qualcomm Stadium with thousands of people for 8 hours just to register and get a wrist band that said there was no guarantee that we would get to audition. We returned for the following phase to stand in line with 20,000 people for 12 hours in the scorching August sun. When we finally were inside the stadium we were herded like cattle and sectioned off in groups. To warm up they had us all sing the same song as a group while the cameras flew by. They had 6 tents with 2-4 judges at each tent. In front of each tent was a row of people four wide and four deep. Each person was able to step up, sing for 30 seconds and step back. Once the row of four people finished then all of them received judgment. I stepped up and sang "Stand by Me" and 1 of the judges liked it and one judge was not impressed they asked me to sing another song and i sang " over my head" by the fray and they liked it. A producer came up to me and said that I needed to make more eye contact and really deliver the song But i had made it to the next round. That was a good feeling after watching thousands of people get there dreams crushed all morning. Only 150 people made it through that day. Mind you we all were singing a capella and out of our element. At this point I walked to an exclusive room where they gave me water and food and had cool air blowing then They gave me a contract to sign . To sum it up it said " we have the right to exploit you in any way shape or form through out the universe". It really said universe! I still have the contract. They said I would be going to a secret location next and would be later notified. It was Rancho Bernardo Inn and then we waited in a plush room with the 150 people. They gave us a song to practice and said the judges had the choice to ask you to sing this song. That's why you see people on the show all singing the same song horribly, its because they only give you an hour to learn it. I was nervous as shit but had been singing all day and warming up so I was ready for the next round. They threw in a pre-judement round that no one expected and I nailed it. Now it was 50 people that were to go to the next round. The 3rd round had the American Idol back drop had 7 cameras and Nigel (the old guy ) from so you think you can dance. I sang my songs and Nigel said " This time sing the song and sell me on it!!" I didn't know what Else to do so I pretty much did the same thing and said that's all I got. Then he replied "You have great tone and you have the looks, but in this competition you are pale in comparison to the talent we have seen" needless to say that broke my spirit.

Through that experience i learned i have what it takes to become a great musician and God has given me a gift and its my job to develop it. I learned i have to have thick skin and if i can't take honest criticism then I'll never make it. If you don't put yourself out there then you'll never know where you fit in and you will never find out how to become greater. This is still the beginning of my journey and every step i learn something new.

My brother and I were in the movie Seabiscuit !

Me and my brother Jeremy went up to L.A. to be extras in the movie Sea biscuit. We wore these old ass suits and top hats because the movie was based in the 1940's. They actually gave us top hatsand all 2,000 extras as well. It was 90 degrees out and here i was wearing a double breasted woolsuit with wingtip leather shoes. We were so excited to be on the infeild and in the bleachers acting like the camera was going to stop and notice our beauty. We were glad to stand still still for 16 hours while they took take after take. They made me step back from the front line because i had side burns and plugs:( They put blow up dolls in the top bleachers with top hats on, and i remember seeing the "Elite" extras that had roped off sections where they would act. They were really good at putting on a show and there costumes were awesome. I did get to see Toby Maguire ride a fake horse that bounced up and down the track. Also after the shoot Toby Maguire stood on top a big wooden tower and answered questions. I asked "why the f**k are you so skinny, what happened to spider man?" he didn't reply. I think its because i said it under my breath :/ So Me and Jeremy were so excited and when the movie came out we told everyone. But they decided to go with a graphic over the scenes we were in. So all the crowd was blurred out (because he was riding really fast horse i guess) and we were bummed :(. Oh well, I'll make my own movie when i become rich ...I'll name it what they should have named the first one "Seahorse"..right? why didn't some one name that horse seahorse? what the f--- is a sea biscuit?

I ranked Top 10 out of thousands in Holly Wood auditions

April 25th, 2010 i drove up to Holly Wood, Ca. to audition for a new reality show on BRAVO. The show is called "Hit Makers" (http://www.hitmakerscasting.com/ )and i think it will be the next "American Idol" but for original singer songwriters. The people that are making this show have done shows like , Real Housewives of Atlanta, Shear Genius, Top Chef, etc. They have collaborated with The Writing Camp (http://www.thewritingcamp.net/ ) who have written songs for beyonce, rihanna, pussycat dolls, Sean Kingston and many others. Needless to say these people are at the top of the game and I had the privilege to sing in front of them.

Early Sunday morning I arrived at the Musician Institute on Holly Wood Blvd. and got in line with about 2,000 people. We entered the building in groups of ten and were sent into different auditioning areas with stages. On the main stage (where I sang) was the Big Dogs! about 12 people who could change my life dramatically if they found favor in me. Each person had no more then 30 seconds to prove that they were the diamond in the rough and could become great. Some people were cut off at 10 seconds and some played the whole 30 then asked to sit down. Me and 3 other people were asked to sing a another 30 sec. song (so two songs) then they interviewed us on stage about our goals and where we came from. After they finished with every one we waited in the hall for a judgment. They told some people to go home and wait for a phone call, while they told me to come back the next day? hmm kinda weird.

So I was stoked and I started practicing for the next day. My wife recommended I start preparing for a writing challenge and brush up on my writing skills, after all it was a show about writing music. When we arrived back at the institute there was no line and about 50 people sitting inside. For the next 3 hours I would be standing in line singing, sitting down and singing and pacing back in forth in the stairwell singing. I had one guy come up to me and ask if i could be quiet....I smiled and told him i was in the middle of an audition. Of course people get frustrated with you when you have been singing all day in line. But like i told this girl ,that looked terrified, if you can't sing in front of these people in line then how will you be able to sing in front of those people judging you ? plus when nerves kick in your voice could crack, you can miss a note, mess up on your instrument and just loose the raw energy you need to perform. Its good to stay warmed up and ready to go. We finally got inside and they asked us to sit in each corner of the room and write a song in 30 Min's based on 10 topics they gave us. When complete with the song we would have to perform it in front of the judges. I wrote a song then sang in front of the judges, and I felt they they responded well. They also interviewed me again about my son and reservation. They said to go home and if we didn't receive a phone call by 4pm then thanks for coming out. At 3:30 my phone rang and they asked me to come back to Holly Wood to be filmed, interviewed (at the casting office) and submitted for final review from NBC executives. When we were sitting in the waiting room the casting supervisor walked out and said " Hey whats up Paul I see you brought your son Ash again , good to see you". After all that, they said they had to go to three other cities and if you i don't hear from them by the end of June then try again next year.

Well June is almost over and it has been an emotional roller coaster. What are the odds that this self taught hopeless romantic would find favor with some of the industry's leading songwriters and producers. This business is very intimidating and there are times you feel no bigger then a nickle. But that won't stop me it has not yet and I am ready for the long haul.

It was a great time and it validated my hopes of being a great musician one day. When ever i audition and don't make it or play a show and it doesn't go completely to plan i am reminded of what my professor once said " The opposite of success is not failure, but it is when one gives up or never trys at all"-Sheldon

Growing up on an Indian Reservation

I was raised on the San Pasqual Indian Reservation with three brothers and 740 relatives . My mom is Native American. I grew up in a Christian home which I am very thankful for and I attended a christian school from second to fifth grade. My parents divorced when I was 11, I was entering the sixth grade and that's when I met my distant relatives.

I have much love for all my cousins , my tribe, my uncles and my rez. My people have wonderful hearts and are the most fascinating people you'll ever meet. However, when I was in junior high I would get  "tortured!" by them. I would have rocks thrown at my head, get in fist fights,

robbed and harassed. I remember once my cousin (in sixth grade) provoked me to fight this kid I threw one punch and the guy fell to the ground. I remember my heart dropped and I felt so bad for him. That's what peer pressure can do.

On the Reservation I have seen and done some wild stuff. I have seen a guy get stabbed with a screw driver in the head, A kid from my school get shot down by police after a high speed chase, I snorted crank off broken mirrors and took acid in my eyes, I had my first hit of crystal when I was 14, I had been homeless at age 14 and at 16 and overdosed somewhere in between there, I have had to fight my own blood, I have been in the middle of gunfire, knife fights. Pretty muched exposed to all kinds of horrific situations that I probably shouldn't speak of.

When my parents first split I was like a lone wolf, I had no friends and I had white skin. Being the whitest kid on the Rez, I always had to prove I was crazier then everyone else. I had to prove it by drinking more, robbing people and stores, doing more drugs and willing to fight at any time. Fortunately I did have people in my life including uncles that were very good to me and encouraged me to rise above. They gave me a lot of advice an taught me how to be a Strong and fair man. My uncle Johnny Bear Contreras is an amazing sculptor and has been the greatest influence for art and music in my life. Because of his input I am able to believe in myself and believe in what I will become, a great musician/ human. So far everything I have put my mind to I have accomplished including getting away from the Rez and now at age 27 I have a beautiful son and wife of 6 years.

I developed a sense of strength and caution growing up on the reservation. There are things I love about the rez , like how the sun beats down on the sage, shrubs and oak trees surrounding these ancient hills. How people still carry out old traditions of ghost dances, sweats, bead and basket making and how I visit my moms house and hear the crackle of acorns beneath my feet as I walk home. I am reminded that these were once our primary source of nutrition and that there is a long tale of where these people came from and what they have had to endure for thousands of years. I have pleasant memories mixed with the bitter and another is how we use to swim in a water canal that came through our Rez from Palomar Mountain.

My goal is to give back to the youth of my and other reservations. Hopefully To open eyes and doors for under privileged kids so they will be able to take their life into their own hands. Their is so much pain and confusion in all people but I believe we can help each other. I write music with the intention of opening your mind and connecting with your heart.

The day I hung out with Steve Tyler in Holly Wood !

When i was 19 me and my two friends (Joy and Blair) took a trip to Holly Wood to hang out for the day. We arrived on "The Strip" and started walking up and down the street going in and out of shops. All of the sudden out of the corner of my eye i see ....STEVE TYLER!?
Wow, i was taken back but i needed to get a closer look so i made my way inside "Lords of Hollywood" a low profile leather pants store . I walk by this stringy long haired old man holding leather pants to his waste and dancing in the mirror, i cringed to myself and whisper in my head " its Steve!" He was someone i was studying at the time and at the risk of looking like an idiot I made my way into the store.

With my half broken sun glasses and holding a 2 litter bottle of orange soda and vodka I slowly approached the super star. The trick to getting to talk to someone as famous as him is to completely ignore them or treat them like second class citizens. They can't stand being treated like normal people even though they say they hate the spot light. He was the only person in the store and so i headed towards the register. There I asked "do you have anything to compliment my eyes?". I thought i did a wonderful job of diverting the attention

on off the fact that i was not suppose to be in there, and then Steve turned around and said "HOW ABOUT THIS!?" as he held up his fist. I started smiling and he looked puzzled , finally I said" i don't want to sound like a groupie but i really respect you as an artist and i am a huge fan of yours" He said "Thanks" i asked if i could take a picture with him and he said sure. He grabbed my disposable camera (forgot to turn the flash on) stuck his tongue out and snapped our pic. I asked " I thought of all people, you would have a personal designer that would make all of your leather pants?" he said if i ever had a chance that i would have to buy a pair of these leather pants to see that those were the best pants in the world!!" I guess of all the people that would know, it would be him. As we walked out the front door I turned to tell the clerk " Maybe when I'm famous I will come buy a pair of your pants!" he laughed and said " Sweetie, hopefully we will still be in business!"

Now three days prior to this i caught Aerosmith on VH1 behind the music and and was in awe

of their humble beginnings. Did you know they h

ave been together since they were teenagers . Steve and Joe had this great dynamic which transcended time and business. I asked Steve if he was on tour and he said " Yes and we are playing tonight in L.A. with KISS , Joe Perry missed you yesterday and wants you to come see him!"(They were on tour with KISS and they had just finished one of two shows inL.A.) We stepped outside to his Range Rover and he put his leather pants in the back seat of his truck, his wife sat in the driver seat and he stood on the passenger side step. My friends , all of the sudden, walked up and went "OOOOHHH SHHHIIIT!" Then Steve lit up like a little boy and asked "Who wants a picture?" So the photo to the left ia a picture of " Blair "with her arm around him ,below is a picture of Joy with her tongue out down by his crotch :/ hmmm for what ever reason ...sorry if this embarrasses you JOY....and the picture of me inside with him is fuzzy and misplaced.

I will post the pic of me and Steve when i find it.

My Second Guitar that Sparked a Fire

I had a neighbor that worked with my step dad and me. We did Landscape lighting in Rancho Santa Fe,CA. I was the laborer everyday when we got off work i would go to my neighbors house and we would play around on his guitar and shoot the breeze about our dreams. Long story short his name was Patrick and he gave me his acoustic guitar. Patrick was an interesting guy that inspired me to step out of the mold and

follow my wildest dream. His son had drown as a teenager and Patrick had given all his possessions away multiple times, he had been searching for a solid foundation drifting through the country. We became friends but then he kept on keeping on.

That guitar became my mediator, my hope, my judge and jury when life was unfair, or if i couldn't express something i was feeling  I would use that old acoustic guitar to be a translator. I was living on my moms couch when she had 4 vacant rooms in her house, i had been in trouble with the law since junior high, i was tortured on a regular basis by my cousins on the reservation (so i had stuff to write about), I had no car and i was madly in love with a girl who turned out to be engaged.  It was a rough time and i tried to make light of it, i feel if i didn't find music then i would be even more self destructive then i am now.