Have you ever touched an angel? I have.

When I was around 16 i was involved in a car accident that took a truck off a cliff on Paradise mountain. That was the night I realized I was not walking through life alone.
I was eager to drive before I was leagally able to and i was ready to be an independent human. I wanted to drink , smoke and act like all the adults I knew. I was obsessed with being someone else.

One night i decided to borrow a car from some one I knew and drive to V.C. to pick up a Friend. We drove around drinking rum and doing whatever reckless teens do at 3am. I remember it like it was yesterday it was raining hard and the roads were really wet. I asked my Friend to drive cause I felt more intoxicated then him. We were coming down a narrow and dark road on Paradise mountain at about 60mph when i felt he was taking the turn way to fast. I clenched my hand to the arm rest and asked him to "slow down". We caught our breath for a brief second and then noticed a caution sign that said "20mph" on the corner. Naturally my Friend saw that he would go over the edge if he didn't turn towards the hillside and quick! He corrected one turn to only over correct on another turn. Now he tried to not hit the hillside dead on but in doing that he lost control and we went over the edge.

Imagine being in a rioting crowd of 20,000 people that have baseball bats and they all want to kill you. You close your eyes and listen to your only source of protection being ripped, shattered and pulled apart by force. But in this case it happens in a matter of seconds. When i closed my eyes something strange happened, I saw we were going over the edge and a calmness suddenly fell on me. I closed my eyes and then I felt something fall into my lap. I didn't open my eyes to see what it was but it felt like a human body and not a piece of the truck. I thought to myself that if it was my friend that fell into my arms I was not going to let go of him. I used every ounce of strength to prevent him from flying out the windshield.

After what felt like hours of gravity, we finally landed on a huge rock right side up. The whole truck was in shambles but the two front seats were as good as new. My Friends hand was pinched between the roof and steering wheel and we both sat speechless. I looked over and saw that my Friend was in his seat belt and i asked "did you fall out of your seat belt?" he replied "no." I got out of the passenger seat and crawled to the top of the mountain with not even a scratch on me. I started singing some song that was stuck in my head as I walked down the road. I felt like i just cheated death and I knew why...

..The person that fell in my lap was the one that has been by my side my whole life. From that day a lot has happened but I will always remember when God decided to show me I was not walking through life alone. Till this day I carry a Native American medicine bag with me that contains broken pieces of glass from that night. It is a reminder that I have only one reason to be here, do you have one? one love.

How i did in the American Idol Auditions in 2007

First my brother and i had to stand in line at Qualcomm Stadium with thousands of people for 8 hours just to register and get a wrist band that said there was no guarantee that we would get to audition. We returned for the following phase to stand in line with 20,000 people for 12 hours in the scorching August sun. When we finally were inside the stadium we were herded like cattle and sectioned off in groups. To warm up they had us all sing the same song as a group while the cameras flew by. They had 6 tents with 2-4 judges at each tent. In front of each tent was a row of people four wide and four deep. Each person was able to step up, sing for 30 seconds and step back. Once the row of four people finished then all of them received judgment. I stepped up and sang "Stand by Me" and 1 of the judges liked it and one judge was not impressed they asked me to sing another song and i sang " over my head" by the fray and they liked it. A producer came up to me and said that I needed to make more eye contact and really deliver the song But i had made it to the next round. That was a good feeling after watching thousands of people get there dreams crushed all morning. Only 150 people made it through that day. Mind you we all were singing a capella and out of our element. At this point I walked to an exclusive room where they gave me water and food and had cool air blowing then They gave me a contract to sign . To sum it up it said " we have the right to exploit you in any way shape or form through out the universe". It really said universe! I still have the contract. They said I would be going to a secret location next and would be later notified. It was Rancho Bernardo Inn and then we waited in a plush room with the 150 people. They gave us a song to practice and said the judges had the choice to ask you to sing this song. That's why you see people on the show all singing the same song horribly, its because they only give you an hour to learn it. I was nervous as shit but had been singing all day and warming up so I was ready for the next round. They threw in a pre-judement round that no one expected and I nailed it. Now it was 50 people that were to go to the next round. The 3rd round had the American Idol back drop had 7 cameras and Nigel (the old guy ) from so you think you can dance. I sang my songs and Nigel said " This time sing the song and sell me on it!!" I didn't know what Else to do so I pretty much did the same thing and said that's all I got. Then he replied "You have great tone and you have the looks, but in this competition you are pale in comparison to the talent we have seen" needless to say that broke my spirit.

Through that experience i learned i have what it takes to become a great musician and God has given me a gift and its my job to develop it. I learned i have to have thick skin and if i can't take honest criticism then I'll never make it. If you don't put yourself out there then you'll never know where you fit in and you will never find out how to become greater. This is still the beginning of my journey and every step i learn something new.

My brother and I were in the movie Seabiscuit !

Me and my brother Jeremy went up to L.A. to be extras in the movie Sea biscuit. We wore these old ass suits and top hats because the movie was based in the 1940's. They actually gave us top hatsand all 2,000 extras as well. It was 90 degrees out and here i was wearing a double breasted woolsuit with wingtip leather shoes. We were so excited to be on the infeild and in the bleachers acting like the camera was going to stop and notice our beauty. We were glad to stand still still for 16 hours while they took take after take. They made me step back from the front line because i had side burns and plugs:( They put blow up dolls in the top bleachers with top hats on, and i remember seeing the "Elite" extras that had roped off sections where they would act. They were really good at putting on a show and there costumes were awesome. I did get to see Toby Maguire ride a fake horse that bounced up and down the track. Also after the shoot Toby Maguire stood on top a big wooden tower and answered questions. I asked "why the f**k are you so skinny, what happened to spider man?" he didn't reply. I think its because i said it under my breath :/ So Me and Jeremy were so excited and when the movie came out we told everyone. But they decided to go with a graphic over the scenes we were in. So all the crowd was blurred out (because he was riding really fast horse i guess) and we were bummed :(. Oh well, I'll make my own movie when i become rich ...I'll name it what they should have named the first one "Seahorse"..right? why didn't some one name that horse seahorse? what the f--- is a sea biscuit?

I ranked Top 10 out of thousands in Holly Wood auditions

April 25th, 2010 i drove up to Holly Wood, Ca. to audition for a new reality show on BRAVO. The show is called "Hit Makers" (http://www.hitmakerscasting.com/ )and i think it will be the next "American Idol" but for original singer songwriters. The people that are making this show have done shows like , Real Housewives of Atlanta, Shear Genius, Top Chef, etc. They have collaborated with The Writing Camp (http://www.thewritingcamp.net/ ) who have written songs for beyonce, rihanna, pussycat dolls, Sean Kingston and many others. Needless to say these people are at the top of the game and I had the privilege to sing in front of them.

Early Sunday morning I arrived at the Musician Institute on Holly Wood Blvd. and got in line with about 2,000 people. We entered the building in groups of ten and were sent into different auditioning areas with stages. On the main stage (where I sang) was the Big Dogs! about 12 people who could change my life dramatically if they found favor in me. Each person had no more then 30 seconds to prove that they were the diamond in the rough and could become great. Some people were cut off at 10 seconds and some played the whole 30 then asked to sit down. Me and 3 other people were asked to sing a another 30 sec. song (so two songs) then they interviewed us on stage about our goals and where we came from. After they finished with every one we waited in the hall for a judgment. They told some people to go home and wait for a phone call, while they told me to come back the next day? hmm kinda weird.

So I was stoked and I started practicing for the next day. My wife recommended I start preparing for a writing challenge and brush up on my writing skills, after all it was a show about writing music. When we arrived back at the institute there was no line and about 50 people sitting inside. For the next 3 hours I would be standing in line singing, sitting down and singing and pacing back in forth in the stairwell singing. I had one guy come up to me and ask if i could be quiet....I smiled and told him i was in the middle of an audition. Of course people get frustrated with you when you have been singing all day in line. But like i told this girl ,that looked terrified, if you can't sing in front of these people in line then how will you be able to sing in front of those people judging you ? plus when nerves kick in your voice could crack, you can miss a note, mess up on your instrument and just loose the raw energy you need to perform. Its good to stay warmed up and ready to go. We finally got inside and they asked us to sit in each corner of the room and write a song in 30 Min's based on 10 topics they gave us. When complete with the song we would have to perform it in front of the judges. I wrote a song then sang in front of the judges, and I felt they they responded well. They also interviewed me again about my son and reservation. They said to go home and if we didn't receive a phone call by 4pm then thanks for coming out. At 3:30 my phone rang and they asked me to come back to Holly Wood to be filmed, interviewed (at the casting office) and submitted for final review from NBC executives. When we were sitting in the waiting room the casting supervisor walked out and said " Hey whats up Paul I see you brought your son Ash again , good to see you". After all that, they said they had to go to three other cities and if you i don't hear from them by the end of June then try again next year.

Well June is almost over and it has been an emotional roller coaster. What are the odds that this self taught hopeless romantic would find favor with some of the industry's leading songwriters and producers. This business is very intimidating and there are times you feel no bigger then a nickle. But that won't stop me it has not yet and I am ready for the long haul.

It was a great time and it validated my hopes of being a great musician one day. When ever i audition and don't make it or play a show and it doesn't go completely to plan i am reminded of what my professor once said " The opposite of success is not failure, but it is when one gives up or never trys at all"-Sheldon

Growing up on an Indian Reservation

I was raised on the San Pasqual Indian Reservation with three brothers and 740 relatives . My mom is Native American. I grew up in a Christian home which I am very thankful for and I attended a christian school from second to fifth grade. My parents divorced when I was 11, I was entering the sixth grade and that's when I met my distant relatives.

I have much love for all my cousins , my tribe, my uncles and my rez. My people have wonderful hearts and are the most fascinating people you'll ever meet. However, when I was in junior high I would get  "tortured!" by them. I would have rocks thrown at my head, get in fist fights,

robbed and harassed. I remember once my cousin (in sixth grade) provoked me to fight this kid I threw one punch and the guy fell to the ground. I remember my heart dropped and I felt so bad for him. That's what peer pressure can do.

On the Reservation I have seen and done some wild stuff. I have seen a guy get stabbed with a screw driver in the head, A kid from my school get shot down by police after a high speed chase, I snorted crank off broken mirrors and took acid in my eyes, I had my first hit of crystal when I was 14, I had been homeless at age 14 and at 16 and overdosed somewhere in between there, I have had to fight my own blood, I have been in the middle of gunfire, knife fights. Pretty muched exposed to all kinds of horrific situations that I probably shouldn't speak of.

When my parents first split I was like a lone wolf, I had no friends and I had white skin. Being the whitest kid on the Rez, I always had to prove I was crazier then everyone else. I had to prove it by drinking more, robbing people and stores, doing more drugs and willing to fight at any time. Fortunately I did have people in my life including uncles that were very good to me and encouraged me to rise above. They gave me a lot of advice an taught me how to be a Strong and fair man. My uncle Johnny Bear Contreras is an amazing sculptor and has been the greatest influence for art and music in my life. Because of his input I am able to believe in myself and believe in what I will become, a great musician/ human. So far everything I have put my mind to I have accomplished including getting away from the Rez and now at age 27 I have a beautiful son and wife of 6 years.

I developed a sense of strength and caution growing up on the reservation. There are things I love about the rez , like how the sun beats down on the sage, shrubs and oak trees surrounding these ancient hills. How people still carry out old traditions of ghost dances, sweats, bead and basket making and how I visit my moms house and hear the crackle of acorns beneath my feet as I walk home. I am reminded that these were once our primary source of nutrition and that there is a long tale of where these people came from and what they have had to endure for thousands of years. I have pleasant memories mixed with the bitter and another is how we use to swim in a water canal that came through our Rez from Palomar Mountain.

My goal is to give back to the youth of my and other reservations. Hopefully To open eyes and doors for under privileged kids so they will be able to take their life into their own hands. Their is so much pain and confusion in all people but I believe we can help each other. I write music with the intention of opening your mind and connecting with your heart.

The day I hung out with Steve Tyler in Holly Wood !

When i was 19 me and my two friends (Joy and Blair) took a trip to Holly Wood to hang out for the day. We arrived on "The Strip" and started walking up and down the street going in and out of shops. All of the sudden out of the corner of my eye i see ....STEVE TYLER!?
Wow, i was taken back but i needed to get a closer look so i made my way inside "Lords of Hollywood" a low profile leather pants store . I walk by this stringy long haired old man holding leather pants to his waste and dancing in the mirror, i cringed to myself and whisper in my head " its Steve!" He was someone i was studying at the time and at the risk of looking like an idiot I made my way into the store.

With my half broken sun glasses and holding a 2 litter bottle of orange soda and vodka I slowly approached the super star. The trick to getting to talk to someone as famous as him is to completely ignore them or treat them like second class citizens. They can't stand being treated like normal people even though they say they hate the spot light. He was the only person in the store and so i headed towards the register. There I asked "do you have anything to compliment my eyes?". I thought i did a wonderful job of diverting the attention

on off the fact that i was not suppose to be in there, and then Steve turned around and said "HOW ABOUT THIS!?" as he held up his fist. I started smiling and he looked puzzled , finally I said" i don't want to sound like a groupie but i really respect you as an artist and i am a huge fan of yours" He said "Thanks" i asked if i could take a picture with him and he said sure. He grabbed my disposable camera (forgot to turn the flash on) stuck his tongue out and snapped our pic. I asked " I thought of all people, you would have a personal designer that would make all of your leather pants?" he said if i ever had a chance that i would have to buy a pair of these leather pants to see that those were the best pants in the world!!" I guess of all the people that would know, it would be him. As we walked out the front door I turned to tell the clerk " Maybe when I'm famous I will come buy a pair of your pants!" he laughed and said " Sweetie, hopefully we will still be in business!"

Now three days prior to this i caught Aerosmith on VH1 behind the music and and was in awe

of their humble beginnings. Did you know they h

ave been together since they were teenagers . Steve and Joe had this great dynamic which transcended time and business. I asked Steve if he was on tour and he said " Yes and we are playing tonight in L.A. with KISS , Joe Perry missed you yesterday and wants you to come see him!"(They were on tour with KISS and they had just finished one of two shows inL.A.) We stepped outside to his Range Rover and he put his leather pants in the back seat of his truck, his wife sat in the driver seat and he stood on the passenger side step. My friends , all of the sudden, walked up and went "OOOOHHH SHHHIIIT!" Then Steve lit up like a little boy and asked "Who wants a picture?" So the photo to the left ia a picture of " Blair "with her arm around him ,below is a picture of Joy with her tongue out down by his crotch :/ hmmm for what ever reason ...sorry if this embarrasses you JOY....and the picture of me inside with him is fuzzy and misplaced.

I will post the pic of me and Steve when i find it.

My Second Guitar that Sparked a Fire

I had a neighbor that worked with my step dad and me. We did Landscape lighting in Rancho Santa Fe,CA. I was the laborer everyday when we got off work i would go to my neighbors house and we would play around on his guitar and shoot the breeze about our dreams. Long story short his name was Patrick and he gave me his acoustic guitar. Patrick was an interesting guy that inspired me to step out of the mold and

follow my wildest dream. His son had drown as a teenager and Patrick had given all his possessions away multiple times, he had been searching for a solid foundation drifting through the country. We became friends but then he kept on keeping on.

That guitar became my mediator, my hope, my judge and jury when life was unfair, or if i couldn't express something i was feeling  I would use that old acoustic guitar to be a translator. I was living on my moms couch when she had 4 vacant rooms in her house, i had been in trouble with the law since junior high, i was tortured on a regular basis by my cousins on the reservation (so i had stuff to write about), I had no car and i was madly in love with a girl who turned out to be engaged.  It was a rough time and i tried to make light of it, i feel if i didn't find music then i would be even more self destructive then i am now.