Growing up on an Indian Reservation

I was raised on the San Pasqual Indian Reservation with three brothers and 740 relatives . My mom is Native American. I grew up in a Christian home which I am very thankful for and I attended a christian school from second to fifth grade. My parents divorced when I was 11, I was entering the sixth grade and that's when I met my distant relatives.

I have much love for all my cousins , my tribe, my uncles and my rez. My people have wonderful hearts and are the most fascinating people you'll ever meet. However, when I was in junior high I would get  "tortured!" by them. I would have rocks thrown at my head, get in fist fights,

robbed and harassed. I remember once my cousin (in sixth grade) provoked me to fight this kid I threw one punch and the guy fell to the ground. I remember my heart dropped and I felt so bad for him. That's what peer pressure can do.

On the Reservation I have seen and done some wild stuff. I have seen a guy get stabbed with a screw driver in the head, A kid from my school get shot down by police after a high speed chase, I snorted crank off broken mirrors and took acid in my eyes, I had my first hit of crystal when I was 14, I had been homeless at age 14 and at 16 and overdosed somewhere in between there, I have had to fight my own blood, I have been in the middle of gunfire, knife fights. Pretty muched exposed to all kinds of horrific situations that I probably shouldn't speak of.

When my parents first split I was like a lone wolf, I had no friends and I had white skin. Being the whitest kid on the Rez, I always had to prove I was crazier then everyone else. I had to prove it by drinking more, robbing people and stores, doing more drugs and willing to fight at any time. Fortunately I did have people in my life including uncles that were very good to me and encouraged me to rise above. They gave me a lot of advice an taught me how to be a Strong and fair man. My uncle Johnny Bear Contreras is an amazing sculptor and has been the greatest influence for art and music in my life. Because of his input I am able to believe in myself and believe in what I will become, a great musician/ human. So far everything I have put my mind to I have accomplished including getting away from the Rez and now at age 27 I have a beautiful son and wife of 6 years.

I developed a sense of strength and caution growing up on the reservation. There are things I love about the rez , like how the sun beats down on the sage, shrubs and oak trees surrounding these ancient hills. How people still carry out old traditions of ghost dances, sweats, bead and basket making and how I visit my moms house and hear the crackle of acorns beneath my feet as I walk home. I am reminded that these were once our primary source of nutrition and that there is a long tale of where these people came from and what they have had to endure for thousands of years. I have pleasant memories mixed with the bitter and another is how we use to swim in a water canal that came through our Rez from Palomar Mountain.

My goal is to give back to the youth of my and other reservations. Hopefully To open eyes and doors for under privileged kids so they will be able to take their life into their own hands. Their is so much pain and confusion in all people but I believe we can help each other. I write music with the intention of opening your mind and connecting with your heart.